Feeling Anxious About Change? An Oakland Therapist Shares Insights on Why Life Transitions Can Feel So Overwhelming (& How to Cope)
You've decided to have a baby. You're excited and hopeful about this next chapter. But at the same time, you feel overwhelmed by fear and worry. You find yourself panicking about whether things will go as planned, if you'll be a good parent, whether you'll lose your identity, or how your life is about to change in ways you can't yet predict. You might find yourself asking, “Why am I so anxious even though I look forward to this change?”
Every major life change, whether it's becoming a parent, moving to a different city, or starting a new job, can feel overwhelming. Many people in Oakland feel anxious during life changes, and this is a legitimate feeling, often called transition anxiety. Yes, it can feel scary and overwhelming. But there are ways to manage the anxiety of life transitions.
With the right tools and emotional support from anxiety therapy in Oakland, CA, you can navigate life's changes with calm and protect your well-being.
An Anxiety Therapist in Oakland Discusses Various Life Transitions
Anticipated Changes
Life transitions are important events that can have a big impact on us. Some changes are anticipated; something we plan for or expect to happen, such as:
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· Getting married
· Starting a family
· Moving in together
· Moving to a new home, city, or state
· Going to university
· Changing jobs or careers
· Kids leaving home (becoming an empty-nester)
· Retiring
· Religious transition
However, even when we choose these changes, it may still feel emotionally heavy. For instance, moving in together or moving homes—even within Oakland—can disrupt your sense of community and familiarity. Becoming a parent, sending a child to college, or entering an empty nest phase can all impede your sense of safety.
Unanticipated Changes
Some life changes are unexpected or unwanted and typically involve a significant loss or disruption of stability. These transitions may involve:
· Being diagnosed with a chronic illness or injury
· Death of a loved one
· A breakup or divorce
· Infidelity and breach of trust in a relationship
· Job loss
· Traumatic events
If you're going through these transitions, it's completely normal to feel overwhelmed. The unexpected life changes can be very stressful and traumatic. During times like these, it's important to be kind to yourself and seek support as you adjust to a new reality you didn't choose.
Sleeper & Non-Event Changes
Some changes in life are subtle and happen gradually. Others, called non-event changes, can happen when we do not experience what we anticipate or hope for, such as not having a child when we had planned to.
Gradual transitions can include things such as:
· Emotional distance and drifting apart from a partner
· Relationship dynamics that cause intimacy challenges
· Gradual loss of interest in a career
Non-event changes can include:
· Infertility or difficulty conceiving a child
· An anticipated job promotion that never happened
· Not meeting personal milestones
No matter if the transition is sudden, slow, or silently unfolding, it can deeply impact your sense of identity, stability, and emotional well-being.
When Change Makes Us Feel Anxious: An Oakland Therapist Helps You Understand What Makes Life Transitions So Difficult
Life changes can feel overwhelming because they push us out of our comfort zone and require us to let go of what is familiar and secure. Adjusting to the uncertainty of life transitions can be scary and stressful, even when the change is positive. That's because our brain is wired to seek predictability and safety. When our routine is disrupted, even when it is something we're excited about, our nervous system might perceive the change as a threat.
An Oakland Therapist Unpacks the Connection between Uncertainty and Anxiety
Uncertainty is, for most people, one of the biggest drivers of anxiety. Life transitions usually come with unknowns such as new roles, new expectations, and often, a sense of identity shift. For example, becoming a mother can reshape your identity, making you feel disconnected from who you once were. You might feel like you've lost parts of yourself—your freedom, confidence, or the things you used to enjoy—as you adjust to the constant demands of being "mommy."
When you can't predict what's coming next, your brain scrambles to create a sense of safety, often by imagining worst-case scenarios. You might find yourself thinking, “What if I fail? What if this wasn't the right decision? What happens next?” These thoughts can trigger a fight-or-flight response, making it hard to stay grounded in the present. The more pressure you place on yourself to "adjust quickly," the more your body may respond with emotional overwhelm, self-doubt, or even physical symptoms of anxiety.
If this resonates, working with an anxiety therapist in Oakland can offer a calm, compassionate space to unpack your thoughts and reframe unhelpful patterns. Anxiety therapy can help you feel more grounded, supported, and confident as you move through change.
When to Seek Professional Support from an Anxiety Therapist in Oakland
Do you feel stuck or emotionally exhausted? Maybe you're experiencing panic attacks that seem to come out of nowhere or constant worry that keeps you from sleeping, enjoying your day, or being present in your relationships. That tightness in your chest, cold sweats, or muscle tension can feel frightening like something terrible is about to happen, even when there's no apparent reason. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the anxiety just doesn't go away. If this sounds familiar, it might be time to reach out and talk with a therapist.
How Anxiety Therapy Can Help You Feel More Grounded During Life Transitions
Therapy can offer a safe space to process the emotions that come with life transitions and help you build resilience to recover after adversity quickly.
As a therapist in Oakland, I often work with clients to understand the roots of their anxiety and name the fears that drive their discomfort, whether it's fear of being alone after a breakup, fear of not being a "good enough" parent, or something else. Anxiety therapy provides evidence-based strategies to reframe thoughts rooted in perfectionism and fear of failure, helping you develop coping tools and calming routines.
Depending on your needs, therapeutic approaches like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy), psychodynamic psychotherapy, or mindfulness-based therapy can help ground you during uncertainty.
An Anxiety Therapist in Oakland Shares 5 Practical Coping Strategies for Anxiety Around Change
Anxiety therapy can provide long-term support. However, there are things you can begin practicing today to help reduce anxiety:
1. Accept What You Cannot Control
Life transitions open new chapters in your journey, forcing you to leave your familiar life behind, which can initially make you feel lost and anxious. However, it also brings the opportunity for a fresh start. A great way to embrace change with all of its challenges and difficulties is to practice radical acceptance.
Radical acceptance involves fully accepting yourself, others, and life as it is without judgment or resistance. By acknowledging what's outside your control, radical acceptance helps reduce emotional discomfort and create space for meaningful change and personal growth.
2. Name What You're Feeling
Naming your experience (e.g., "I feel disoriented," "I'm scared of the unknown") can help decrease emotional intensity and increase self-awareness. Journaling can be a powerful tool for this, as it allows you to clarify your thoughts, recognize your emotions, and track patterns over time. By writing things down, you may begin to notice what's really bothering you beneath the surface and feel more in control.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
Change is hard, even when it's welcome. So, be kind to yourself. Think about what you would say to a friend going through a similar experience. You might say, "It's okay that this feels difficult. You're doing the best you can." Now, speak to yourself in the same supportive and compassionate way you would talk to that friend.
4. Stay Grounded
Grounding tools such as breathing exercises, guided meditations, and mindfulness can help you pay attention to the here and now nonjudgmentally, notice when you become overwhelmed, and bring your body out of a stress response.
5. Lean on Your Support Network
You don't have to figure this out alone. Let friends, family, or community groups know that you are going through a transition and would appreciate support.
Navigating Life Changes with Grace is Possible When You Have the Right Support
Change is one constant in life and often something beyond our control. What is essential in managing these transitions is our resilience, or the ability to bounce back after facing challenges. Anxiety therapy in Oakland can help you understand why life transitions trigger anxiety sometimes and how to manage these challenges with confidence.
I offer am sensitive to the challenges that arise during life transitions and the anxiety you may feel so will guide you through your life changes with kindness and support you with building resilience. Contact me for a free 15-minute consultation for anxiety therapy in Oakland, where we can rebuild your confidence and empower you to cope with life transitions.
Author Bio:
Anxiety Therapist Oakland
Lara Clayman, LCSW is an online therapist in California who specializes in working with trauma, anxiety, and adult children of immigrants.
