Overcoming Imposter Syndrome with Therapy in Oakland: Tips and Insights
Recently I’ve been noticing how being afraid of failure is showing up in people’s lives and how universal the fear of failure is in our culture. My last blog post “The Trap of Perfectionism: An Oakland Therapist’s Advice on Finding Peace in Imperfection” discusses how fear of failure, often operating underneath the surface, drives perfectionism. Many of the high and overachieving people I know who can be perfectionistic also identify with the term “imposter syndrome”. Here are some ways that imposter syndrome and fear of failure can impact your personal and professional life and how it may hold you back from feeling self-confident and deserving of the life you have created for yourself.
Understanding Imposter Syndrome: A Therapist in Oakland Explains
Imposter syndrome is not just a buzzword. It’s more than ordinary self-doubt and a common issue. Imposter syndrome is the inability to believe that your successes are legitimate, deserved or the result of your own abilities, skills and efforts. The feeling that you aren’t deserving or good enough persists even when there is evidence to the contrary, such as awards, promotions, academic success, etc People who experience imposter syndrome may feel their accomplishments are due to luck or that they have somehow managed to fool those around them into believing they are intelligent or capable.
Understanding Imposter Syndrome: Insights from a Therapist in Oakland
Imposter syndrome can also result from systemic oppression. Many high-achieving professionals or people who don’t “fit the mold” for a certain role in the workplace, may feel undeserving or that they don’t actually know what they are doing - that somehow they slipped through the cracks and aren’t worthy of the roles they have been tasked with. The fear of being found out can fuel a cycle where working more, harder, longer, etc. becomes a coping strategy to avoid failure.
Racial, gender (or other identity-based) discrimination and microaggressions can be internalized, leading people of color and marginalized groups to feel like “imposters”. Systematic marginalization and exclusion can lead to feelings of self-doubt and negative self-evaluation, anxiety and depression, less job and life satisfaction and negatively affect mental health and wellbeing.
Common signs of imposter syndrome are:
Fear of failure - persistent fear of being found out that you are a “fake”. This fear of failure can lead to an avoidance-procrastination cycle or to self-sabotaging behaviors.
Fear of success - With success comes the fear that others may raise their expectations of you, leading to increased responsibilities or demands on you This makes the fear of being discovered as a fraud even greater and the risks even higher. You also worry that more success might alienate you from the people you are close to.
Overachieving - Having high and unrealistic self-expectations which, when not met, lead to feeling discouraged, inadequate, shame and self-doubt. This may look like setting unrealistically high goals and then feeling disappointed when you don’t meet them.
Overpreparation - You over prepare and are burnt out. You over work when it comes to studying or don’t know when to “call it” when working on a project or task since you could always make it better.
It’s luck - Your successes have to do with chance or other random and external factors and are not yours - even when you are capable and qualified. You minimize your talents or skills and don’t believe praise from others is genuine and have trouble accepting positive feedback or compliments from others.
Self-Doubt - You constantly compare yourself to others. Because you don’t believe you are worthy, you seek external validation or reassurance in your relationships. Or you hold your partner, friends or family to extremely high standards which can cause strain in your relationships or leave you feeling continually let down.
Inability to see your abilities in a realistic light - Imposter syndrome if a cognitive distortion where you cannot evaluate your skills and abilities realistically. You over focus on negative and fear-based thoughts and they ways you believe you are inadequate
Self-criticism - you berate yourself when you believe you fall short or generally have negative self-talk about your worth or value.
Stuck in a cycle -Your perfectionism may temporarily lead you to getting the grades or acknowledgement at work that you were seeking, but the payoff is short lived. You only feel relief in the short-term, because imposter thinking quickly creeps back in and fears of being a fraud lead you to begin the cycle of over working once again.
Exploring the Causes of Imposter Syndrome: Perspectives from a Therapist in Oakland
Personality, how you were raised, your environment and your cultural identity are all factors that may lead to developing feelings of inferiority and being inadequate.
People who have more of an anxious disposition or personality, are sensitive or easily upset or are perfectionistic or desire feeling a sense of control, or have low self-esteem are at higher risk of feeling like an imposter.
How you were parented as a child is linked to fearing failure and lacking self-confidence, both factors that can play a role in developing imposter syndrome. If you come from a family that was overly controlling or authoritative or put a high emphasis on a (narrow) definition of achievement, you are more likely to feel your worth is tied to your success (as defined by others). You may also be more at risk of feeling like a fraud if you grew up in an environment where you received little or no praise or even criticism when you did achieve what was expected of you or your parents were inconsistent in their reactions to your attempts to meet their standards.
Imposter syndrome is more common in women and minority groups likely because being different from peers may be accompanied by exclusion, criticism, or being overlooked or ignored. If you grew up or work somewhere that your age, race, gender, class or ability status differs from the people around you, you may be more susceptible to feeling like a fraud or that you don’t belong or deserve the same as your peers. Or maybe you feel you deserve equal satisfaction, recognition, pay and a voice, but the culture of your work or school environment is patriarchal and white supremacist creating self-doubt and burnout. Imposter syndrome is common in competitive and capitalist work environments and societies. People of color may not feel deserving of advancement or leadership roles, for example, when company leadership positions are held by the most privileged and people who are not like them (e.g. white, male, wealthy, etc.)
Transitions and starting something new can trigger imposter syndrome. Pressure to achieve, lack of feelings of belonging, being inexperienced in a new role, and feeling pressure to achieve can trigger self-doubt, feeling like you don’t belong or that you are not equipped or capable of rising to the challenge, and inadequacy which can lead to impostor syndrome.
Social Media can also have a significant, negative impact on your self-concept and confidence. There are studies that show that looking at curated posts of other people’s lives and careers, accomplishments, experiences and lifestyle can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, inadequacy and fear of being a fraud.
How Imposter Syndrome Can Impact Your Work and Personal Life: A Therapist in Oakland’s Perspective
Explore how imposter syndrome manifests in your professional life. From second-guessing your accomplishments to feeling undeserving of your success, learn how these thoughts can create anxiety and stress at work. Burnout, Chronic anxiety can lead to depression.
Imposter syndrome is something people often think is unique to them despite how common it is. People suffering from imposter syndrome also may not feel comfortable sharing their doubts and anxiety because they fear being exposed as a fraud. If they express fears about being inferior, incompetent or undeserving, then their ultimate fear of being discovered as a fraud will come true in that others will realize and believe this to be true about them. Chronic, unmanaged anxiety can grow when trying to deal with it alone, and therefore, people who don't reach out for help are at greater risk of developing depression.
Some environments are more conducive to imposter syndrome. For example, academia or very competitive work environments that focus on productivity like tech, startups, law, etc. often hold impossibly high standards for work productivity and quality. It is difficult to have healthy work life balance or to set boundaries between work and home. Many people with imposter syndrome may respond by working themselves to the point of exhaustion due to deep-seated fears about their abilities and job security and internalizing unrealistic external expectations that have been placed on them. On the other hand, if someone with imposter syndrome is being recognized or encouraged to advance at work, their fear of being found out to be a fraud can lead to self-sabotage - turning down promotions or other opportunities that could lead to professional or personal growth.
In life outside of work, fear of failure can keep people from pursuing creative pursuits and new experiences. Self-doubt and low self-worth may also lead you to continually seek validation in other important relationships in your life. This can put a strain on your relationship with your partner or children.
The Link Between Anxiety and Imposter Syndrome: What You Need to Know
Imposter syndrome and anxiety or depression
Feelings of inadequacy can exacerbate your stress and impact your overall mental health. At work, self-doubt and second-guessing your accomplishments, attributing success to luck rather than your own hard work and abilities and feeling undeserving feeds anxiety and stress about being found out as a fraud. The impact of constant self-criticism and pressure to prove oneself in order to meet unrealistic expectations causes chronic anxiety and burn out. You may feel you are overwhelmed and drowning in your anxious feelings. Chronic anxiety often turns into depression which can lead to loss of motivation and feelings of hopelessness and despair. Depression may cause you to focus even more on your perceived short-comings and makes it even more difficult to see and acknowledge your strengths and successes, making it harder to complete your work and fueling the cycle of anxiety and depression. The mental health impacts of imposter syndrome can ultimately negatively impact your job performance and your wellbeing.
How Therapy in Oakland Can Help
Recognizing these patterns is crucial for addressing the emotional toll imposter syndrome can take on your professional life.
A therapist in Oakland can help you recognize and question long-ingrained thought patterns. Once you develop and awareness around your thoughts,feelings behaviors, you can get support with practicing mindfulness (being in the present moment with and curious about your emotional experience and mindset), cultivating self-compassion, patience, acceptance with making mistakes and redefining what “failure” means, developing more realistic goals and mental flexibility, finding opportunities to practice new ways of thinking and doing, support with asking for help, building a support network and seeing your strengths and value as a human being in a more realistic light.
Embracing Change: Moving Beyond Fear of Failure and Imposter Syndrome with Support from a Therapist in Oakland
If you are dealing with fear of failure and ready to overcome imposter syndrome and its impact on your life, I’m here to guide you through it. I specialize in helping individuals navigate anxiety, trauma, and the unique challenges associated with multiracial mental health. My focus includes addressing fears of failure and imposter syndrome, which are often deeply intertwined with these areas.
In my therapy practice, I offer a supportive and empathetic approach to help you manage these fears and build a more confident and authentic self. Whether you're struggling with self-doubt, performance anxiety, or the effects of past trauma, my goal is to provide personalized therapy that meets your specific needs and empowers you to thrive. Contact me for a free 15-minute consultation to see if can help you with stopping perfectionism from holding you back.
