What to expect from counseling, mental health, psychotherapy, and therapy in Oakland
What is therapy? What really goes on behind closed doors and how does it actually work? Because of the therapists’ ethical and legal obligation to protect confidentiality, therapists generally can’t talk about their work with others. I hope to shed some light on the mystery or confusion about the therapeutic process.
Social media, television, movies and podcasts abound about the topic of psychotherapy. Some of these perspectives offer honest and realistic insight into an art that can be difficult to put into words. Others, and possibly the majority of the messages on many social media and television perpetuate stereotypes about therapists and their relationships with their clients. Therapists themselves are sometimes the subject of fascination. They have been portrayed as cold, all-knowing, abusive, over-involved, enabling or just a hot mess. Therapists are humans - walking right alongside of you, navigating our own complex lives. Our lives do impact our work with clients and our clients’ lives impact us. The structure of therapy and the boundaries your therapist creates are for your protection and to make sure the focus of our work together is all about taking care of you and your mental health.
What does a therapist in Oakland do?
Therapists are trained to help people with their mental health. Your therapist will guide you in exploring your feelings, thoughts and behaviors (and how they impact each other) by working to create a trusting relationship, emotional safety and a supportive environment. As you build trust in your therapist and with time, the therapy process deepens when you engage with your therapist in an honest and sometimes vulnerable way. You'll begin to cultivate compassion toward yourself and give more attention to your internal and external strengths as well as the challenges that impact your emotional wellbeing. The process of going deeper, being seen and re-writing your story is healing, fosters a greater sense of agency and can improve your relationships.
What to expect from your first consultation with a therapist in Oakland
You found a few therapists in Oakland you would like to meet, but now what? Maybe you’re really eager to get started or maybe you are feeling hesitant to pick up the phone. Starting therapy can feel like a weighty decision. After all, you are entrusting your therapist to support your emotional wellbeing. Your first consultation is a meet and greet -think speed dating!- to see if you’d be interested in talking further. In preparation for your first consultation with a therapist in Oakland, think about a few goals for your therapy and summarize any issues of concern you are dealing with to briefly give some context to why you are looking for a therapist right now.
It’s not possible to share everything you will want to share about yourself and your situation in such a brief period of time, so it may help to think about this first consultation as an opportunity for you to learn more about the therapist and whether you think they could help you with what you are needing. It’s important to listen to your gut sense of whether the therapist you are speaking to is a good fit. The first consultation is an opportunity for you to get a sense of how it feels to talk to this person. Do you feel a connection, a sense of safety, and that this person has the skills to help you get unstuck? Success in therapy starts with your relationship with your therapist, so if you don’t feel comfortable from the outset, move onto someone else. Here are some questions you could ask when meeting a therapist for the first time (link to blog).
Most therapists, psychologists and counselors in Oakland work collaboratively with clients to identify the issues you’d like to address and your goals for your treatment. An art therapist may use expressive arts therapy to help you develop awareness of your emotional experience. A somatic therapist will focus more on your bodily sensations. And talk therapists rely more heavily on dialogue. All therapies have strengths and limitations. The type of treatment you receive will depend a lot on your therapist's theoretical orientation and training and what you both feel with work best for your situation. As the field of therapy continues to evolve, therapists with a more holistic, social justice lens are drawing from multiple frameworks and current research and actively working to decolonizing their therapy practices.
Relational work has to do with you and me. Psychodynamic psychotherapy is interesting (at least to me) because it offers a space where we can talk openly about our relationship without too much risk. We can learn a lot about you when you share your feelings about therapy and your relationship with me. We get to be curious and explore how your feelings about our relationship while we are in a relationship together. It’s my job to hold and help you make sense of your feelings without retaliating or taking things personally. Any feedback you do have to give to me, I will take very seriously and will try to adjust or address whatever doesn’t feel right to you too.
What to expect in the first session with a therapist in Oakland
Think of the first few sessions as a trial period where you are exploring whether you want to work with this person. The beginning of therapy is designed to set expectations and for you and your therapist to get to know one another better. Depending on the type of therapy you are engaging in, the first few sessions of therapy may look and feel different than the rest of your therapy sessions because there is a lot more active information gathering in the beginning. Kind of like when you are at a doctor’s appointment, your therapist will likely be gathering a more detailed medical and mental health history by asking some pretty personal questions! You will be asked about your goals for the therapy process, your important relationships and social support or any other information you might want to share about your identities and your struggles, all key factors to your wellbeing.
Your therapist is also setting up the “frame” for how to work together. In your first session, you should discuss the risks and benefits to therapy, confidentiality, how payment will be handled, communication in between sessions, how to engage in telehealth if online therapy is your preference, and any other private practice policies your therapist has. This is so you know what to expect and that you are consenting to how to work together. There can be quite a lot to go over, but the clearer you are about how your therapist works, the smoother the process will be for you. You should also have space to ask any questions you may have.
Most therapists use dialogue to help you identify thoughts, feelings and behaviors and to see how our thoughts, feelings and behaviors interact with and influence each other. Some therapists have highly structured approaches and are more directive, while other therapy approaches create more space for more open-ended exploration. Both have benefits and drawbacks.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy is a form of talk therapy. My theoretical orientation is psychodynamic and relational, but I draw from other modalities as well. This type of therapy works best for clients who are insight-oriented and have a readiness to engage in a depth psychotherapy process. Our aim is to get to know and understand yourself better and this can happen when are ready to look at some of the hard stuff that has likely been bogging you down in your life. I will work with you to bring what is underneath the surface (the unconscious) into your awareness. This might look like identifying deeply held core beliefs and values to your attention so you can decide what to hold onto and what to let go of. What happens in our earliest relationships create patterns in our brains that can stay with us throughout our entire lives. We essentially learn about ourselves through our relationships with our caregivers. Our early years are extremely influential, and some of the coping skills we learned in childhood have carried us far in life. It’s also true that sometimes what worked for us when we were children is no longer works for us in our adult relationships. For example, if your primary caregivers couldn’t tolerate certain strong emotions like your anger or sadness, you may have learned to stuff your emotions as a survival strategy to keep you connected to your caregivers who you depended on. Smart kid! But, if you’re still stuffing your feelings today, it may have the opposite, unintended effect of keeping you disconnected from those you love the most. So your conditioning around not expressing your feelings may no longer be serving you. Bringing some of your early childhood experiences to light can help identify root causes of your suffering and open up room for healing because when you know, you can make new choices.
How long does someone work with a therapist in Oakland?
Therapy can be short- or long-term depending on the theoretical orientation of your therapist and the concerns you have. There are some very short-term therapies that last 8-12 weeks and other therapies that can take years. How quickly you move through therapy has to do with the treatment you choose as well as other factors like how frequently you and your therapist meet. Some therapists prefer to meet with clients weekly for an hour. A typical therapy hour can range from 45-90min, again depending on how your therapist works and the issues you are working on. Most often a therapy session is around 50min. Consistency and regularity in frequency are important factors in successful client outcomes, and research shows that meeting weekly supports improvement in therapy and reduces your overall time in therapy. Psychodynamic psychotherapy can last for years. However, how long you stay in therapy is entirely up to you and you can end therapy at any time. In psychoanalysis, clients may meet with their psychoanalysts 2-5 times/week!
Hello, I’m Lara and a Therapist in Oakland
I like to meet weekly with clients for a 50min hour. You are paying a lot of money and it’s important to me that you get the best outcomes. We will meet on the same day and time each week. I find this is easiest because the scheduling dance can become very time consuming for both of us. It also creates consistency, helps you make gains more efficiently through continuity and accountability, moves you toward your goals (e.g. to not be in therapy forever!) more quickly, and is generally more cost-effective for you in the long run. Of course life happens, and I will work with you to reschedule when important or unexpected circumstances arise that interfere with keeping our regular commitment to one another.
Mental health support and therapy can be invaluable in your healing and growth. There are many, highly qualified professional therapists in Oakland who can provide you with the tools you need to support your mental health and wellbeing. In learning about the resources that are available to you and understanding more about what to expect about therapy, I hope you feel more equipped to make this important decision. I hope this helps you find the right therapist in Oakland who can help you address life’s challenges and improve your wellbeing. I’m and online therapist in California who loves working with anxiety, trauma and multiracial mental health. Click here if to see if we’re a good fit.
