The Top 5 Myths about counseling, coaching, psychotherapy, and therapy in Oakland
Hopefully my previous blogs FAQs about counseling, coaching, psychotherapy, and Finding therapy in Oakland has helped you understand the difference between counseling, coaching, psychotherapy and therapy in Oakland and the process of finding a therapist in Oakland feels a little less daunting. In addition to having to weed through countless providers, you may also need to spend some time combing through the mounds of misinformation and myths about our profession, especially if you are new to therapy. You may have heard a lot about what therapy in Oakland is or isn’t. Some of the information out there is useful and accurate. Some of what you may have read or heard may be unhelpful and even untrue. So how do you know where to get answers or what to believe? As a therapist in Oakland, I will try to demystify some of the top myths about therapy in Oakland.
Myth #1: Counseling and psychotherapy in Oakland are only for serious mental health issues
Seeking therapy when you know you are struggling (as opposed to avoiding seeking help due to stigma connected to mental health counseling) is a sign of mental health and resilience. Most people I know who are in therapy do not have “serious” mental health issues. Many clients I see are grappling with the same issues all of us experience throughout our lives including: struggles in relationships, anxiety, depression, self-esteem and lack of confidence, grief and loss, life transitions, political and climate anxiety and systemic oppression. Therapy is for just about anything you are or have experienced in your life that is causing you stress or has led you to react in ways that no longer serve you. It is a great option to help people interested in developing effective coping strategies to manage everyday stressors like money, work, personal relationships or the pressures of school. Therapy is also for the purpose of improving relationships. Therapy can provide insight and tools for conflict resolution and enhanced communication in relationships at work, with romantic partners, friends and family. This ultimately leads to healthier and more satisfying relationships. Personal growth is another reason people engage in the therapeutic process. Through therapy, people begin to understand themselves better. The process of self-discovery becomes the foundation for personal development and identifying the pathway to achieving a more fulfilling life. In my practice as a therapist I work with many people who are successful and “functioning” at a high level but wish to break free from from old patterns and improve the quality of their lives. They may be dealing with anxiety, trauma or mixed identity issues, but generally are not seeking therapy to address serious mental illness.
Myth #2: A therapist in Oakland is just there to listen and nod their heads
As a therapist in Oakland-even doing online therapy-I’ve heard people say things like, ‘I don’t need to talk to a therapist when I can just talk to a good friend.’ or ‘Going to the gym every day is just like going to see a therapist.’ The notion that your therapist will listen and nod their head or simply repeat back to you what you just said is a stereotype and is not what actually happens in therapy sessions. Yes, a therapist is getting paid to listen to you, but therapists do much more than that. The relationship between you and your therapist, while emotionally intimate, is a professional one. A therapist who is warm and caring can feel like a friend, but the therapy profession has strong ethical boundaries preventing the therapist-client relationship from turning into a friendship or any other kind of personal relationship while you are working together. This is entirely for your protection since there is an inherent power differential between you and the person you are entrusting with your most personal thoughts and feelings. A friend or family member isn’t trained in mental health, and therefore, may have a different perspective than your therapist. Sometimes very well-meaning advice that could negatively impact your mental health or your relationships. A trained therapist offers a confidential and more objective space for you to fully explore your thoughts and feelings without fear of any repercussions, shame or feeling a need to reciprocate and they will apply evidence-based techniques designed to foster healing and move you through your intense emotions.
How your therapist interacts with you depends on the type of therapy you are engaging in, the issues you are working on, your therapist's training, personality and personal style, and your relationship with your therapist. Therapy is a collaborative process focused on setting goals, building skills and learning and behavioral change in addition to reducing symptoms such as depression and anxiety. Your therapist should be an active participant in their relationship with you. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) may be more structured with your therapist guiding the process in a more obvious way. Other modalities such as expressive arts therapy, eco-therapy, somatic therapy (body work), EMDR focus on more than words as well. Therapies that are psychodynamic or psychoanalytic may allow for more space or room for the client to talk and process their emotions, but these therapists are not just passive participants. In my practice as a psychodynamic therapist in Oakland, I draw from multiple modalities. We will work collaboratively as a team. I will care for you by working to understand your reality and offering new ways to think about yourself and your experiences. You will share your beliefs, values and view of your situation and I will offer reflections, insights and possible alternative ways of looking at your situation.
Myth #3: Therapists in Oakland know all the answers
Spoiler alert-we can’t read minds or solve your problems for you. The truth is we are figuring things out with you. A competent therapist should be able to help you rediscover and act on your intuition, since you are the one who is in the driver’s seat of your life. Of course therapists have in-depth knowledge about mental health and some therapists are highly specialized in particular issues, but every person and their mental health is unique to them. The more you are open and honest with your therapist, the better they’ll be able to understand your reality. This will help us better understand your reality and offer feedback that can be of use. Some people mistakenly believe that therapists give advice. Of course there will be times when it’s appropriate for a therapist to give advice, but giving advice is not generally what therapy is about. Being told what to do can actually have the unintended effect of being disempowering and- truth be told-most people don’t follow advice!
I want to support you in developing the ability to explore and make decisions about your own life independent of your therapist. You know yourself better than anyone and I believe in every person’s innate ability to heal themselves in mind and body. Our time together will be a relatively brief period of time, so I would work with you to identify and explore solutions so you can determine the right course of action for your life. That said, I won’t withhold my thoughts or perspective if you want to know what I would do.
Myth#4: Therapists in Oakland will blame my issues on my family
Some, but not all therapy processes focus on your upbringing and earlier experiences you had within the family (and society) that raised you. Psychodynamic therapy does explore childhood experiences, but the intention is not to dwell on the past or blame the people who cared for you. Exploring some of your childhood can help you gain insight into your personality, how you see yourself and your relationships. It can also illuminate habits or patterns around your emotional responses and reactions (behaviors) you have today. By exploring family dynamics- both painful and wonderful memories, you may begin to heal and develop more compassion toward yourself. Some people even start to feel more connection to their caregivers or are even able to find forgiveness.
As a therapist in Oakland, I won’t push you to share any information you do not want to or to go to places that are too dark or scary unless you feel ready or safe enough to try. Sometimes taking a look at something you have been avoiding (with my support) can bring healing. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable, but not unsafe. In my therapy practice, you get to decide what you feel comfortable sharing. You can manage any fear you may have around “going back to the past” by letting me know. I encourage you to let me know where your discomfort lies and we will decide how to proceed together.
Myth #5 - Seeking therapy is for the weak
A lot of people truly believe they ‘should’ be able to handle everything by themselves. Something we can forget is that we are relational beings and social connection is necessarily for mental health and longevity. American culture values individualism, hard work and “progress” (read: exploitation). When we apply these values to our mental wellbeing, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like we ‘should’ be able to do it all on our own and excel at it! This mindset is really antithetical to nurturing your mental wellbeing. You wouldn’t try to diagnose and treat a physical health problem on your own. Relying on yourself to solve your own emotional challenges is set-up for frustration and disappointment and generally does not lead to relief.
As a therapist in Oakland, I am aware there is still stigma about mental health and therapy, especially within specific cultures and generations. Knowing that, I am encouraged to see small shifts in the public perception of therapy and therapy-seekers. I also acknowledge the ways our systems inflict violence on BIPOC and other oppressed identities and that there is deep distrust in our mental health system. And for people who have been hurt by others or have learned to distrust caretakers, seeking professional help can be anxiety-provoking or unsafe. As a therapist in Oakland who identifies as a learner, I am working on decolonizing my mental health practice and examining the ways in which my practice, my training, my identities and my privilege contributes to oppression and harming people of color. As your therapist, I would invite you to engage in a conversation with me around what you are needing to feel safe and supported in therapy. Should you be willing to take the risk to engage in a therapy process with me, I assure you I will take your feedback seriously.
Hi, I’m Lara and a Therapist in Oakland CA
I hope I have debunked some common misconceptions about the therapy in Oakland and online therapy in California. and encouraged you to see the value in taking care of yourself by seeking professional care. I believe that therapy is for everyone-not just those with serious mental health conditions. Investing in therapy in Oakland is an investment in yourself and the life you want to live. We are the midst of a cultural shift and changing public perception about mental healthcare. With each passing year, there is growing awareness and acceptance about therapy. Therapy is now more commonly acknowledged as a valuable resource for people who desire healthier relationships, skills for managing stress and personal growth. The more people seek out support and share their experiences with others, the more “normal” asking for help becomes. You are a change maker - intentional or not - when you decide to see a therapist in Oakland because people who are proactive and engage in therapy make it okay for others to do the same.
As your therapist in Oakland, I will create a confidential and safe space for you to explore feelings and experiences with my guidance. The therapy process with me can help you seek clarity, confidence and empower you to make the changes that matter to you–starting by turning kind attention and loving compassion to yourself. In my therapy practice, I work with mixed race identity issues, anxiety and depression and provide online therapy in California. Click here to schedule a free 15 minute consultation with me to transform your life.
